I’m sinking to a new low today, dear readers: as I sit in my alternate office, I am eavesdropping on a fellow latte swiller and listening to his cell phone conversation about lunch meats. And because I believe in truth in the press, I bring you the following observations…
- He’s had duck once, but really liked it. (I know, I can’t figure out how that qualifies as a lunch meat, either. I’ve never seen thinly sliced duck by Hillshire Farms on sale at Harris Teeter.)
- Roast beef is his absolute favorite as long as it is cooked just right. (I kid you not, he’s rocking back and forth gleefully as he talks about this.)
- Schlotzky’s is a good place, but they chintz on the meat. They give you far more meat than bread. (Funny name. Serious rip off.)
- Firehouse Subs is his absolute favorite place for a sandwich. They have a corned beef and pastrami on rye with cheese. (I’ll have to give him that. It is a good sandwich. But he’s rocking again.)
- Subway is his least favorite, Quizno’s also chintzes on the meat, Jersey Mike’s is just alright. (By golly, I might have found a food critic.)
A few things I wonder about:
- Who is he talking to? And are they as excited about lunch as he is?
- Why did I choose to blog about this? Do you really even care about the lunch meat play by play?
- And finally, why oh why is this the most entrhalling thing that’s happened to me today?
- Oh, just one more thing: “chintz” is a new word for me. I just looked it up online, and I do not think it means what he thinks that it means.