Published: 8 years ago

This Is NOT a Dog Blog

I don’t want to be “that guy” who tells more stories about his dog, but this one…well, this one must be told.

The scene: my two oldest kids’ room, 5:30 AM Monday

I walked into the room, confident that there was a disturbance in the force and my normally non-chewing dog had chewed something the night before. How right I was. In the floor, there were little bits of paper that had formerly been a small stack of index cards on the kids’ shelf. But interspersed among the paper were little pieces of unidentified plastic.

Odd.

I crept around the room silently so as not to wake the kids or the dog, picking up the aforementioned plastic bits, looking at them closely from the light in the hallway, even sniffing them to figure out what the heck Sipsy had chewed.

And then I saw it.

In the corner, a partially-eaten object that shall be identified as…shall we say…an athletic supporter.

And not the good kind of athletic supporter…you know, the kind that sits in the bleachers, pays dues to a booster club, and displays 67 team magnets on the backside of their SUV. Yeah, not that kind…the bad kind.

So what’s worse, dear readers? The fact that my dog chewed that sucker up?

Or the fact that I was picking up the pieces and sniffing ’em?!?

Editor’s Note: The author is confident he will receive much negative publicity as a result of this post and his choice of the words “athletic supporter.” But really, how much more humiliation and torment could he suffer?

4 Comments.
  1. Ellen says:

    What is it about plastics and rubber that attract doggies… Sorry but I can’t stop laughing knowing that you are such a germophobia… I can say this is the first that I know of that she has chewed inside.. no… I forgot about Falyn’s Hannah Montana headset which I left out on her bed that I didn’t really like anyway..wait I forgot about the exercise bike in the sunroom that she loved the leather padding that was and I say again that was on the back of the seat… FYI I heard they stop chewing up stuff when around 2 yrs old…maybe she needs the large size Gongs to chew on next time you go to the pet store..

  2. B the Builder says:

    So many questions to ask here…
    Why were you snooping around at 5:30am?
    Why would you sniff something that a dog chewed? It would not smell like it did prior to being chewed. Now it would smell like dog breath.
    Do you have a special sniffer nose that enables you to identify chewed items?
    Did you think that Sipsy may have chewed, swallowed and regirgitated?
    I think I’ll have to start calling you “Super Sniffer”.

  3. Shellie says:

    Seems this blog has “gone to the dogs!” Too funny!

  4. Linda Leimone says:

    You make me laugh !! Love your blog…

    Linda

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