Published: 9 years ago

Christmas Songs We Can Do Without

You won’t find anyone who likes Christmas music much more than I do.  I have to fight good common sense every year to keep from cranking up a little Bing Crosby way before Thanksgiving.  But even guys like me have their limits.  Even I hear a song come on the radio from time to time that makes me want to drive myself off the nearest cliff.  Here’s a list of my current annoyances…

  • Let It Snow (Gloria Estefan version): everybody likes a good trumpet, but 154 trumpets trying to outdo each other on higher and higher octaves are a bit much.  Sing the song already, Gloria.  Kill the brass.
  • Santa Baby (Eartha Kitt version): nothing says, “materialistic little princess” like this song.  Every time it comes on the radio I totally overlook the cutesy novelty of it and just want to park her in front of a looping commercial about starving kids in Africa starring that guy who now that I think about it looks a little like Santa Claus anyway, so there.
  • Santa Baby (Madonna version): same as above, except this time it sounds like a four year old singing it.
  • The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late): written in 1958, this song proves that the 60’s wasn’t the only decade of rampant drug use.
  • Any song by the Jackson Five where Michael has a conversation with his brothers.  (“I did! I did see mommy kissing Santa Claus!” “Shut up and get back in the hyperbaric chamber.”)  You’re a great singer, Mike.  Don’t ruin it by talking.
  • I Want A Hippopotamus for Christmas: ’nuff said.

How about you?  Which songs cause you to want to rip your ears from your head and feed ’em to reindeer?

4 Comments.
  1. soundsliketomatoes says:

    Oh man, where to start?

    *Feliz Navidad. Mostly because my children love it and sing it endlessly, only they sing “Feliz Navidad” along with some gibberish. And then sing “I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas” 47 times in a row.

    *The Beatles Christmas Time is Here Again. Ugh. I love the Beatles, but my love does not cover this multitude of songs.

    *Carly Simon-Christmas is Almost Here. Mostly because our radio station here plays it 93 times in a day.

  2. Zack says:

    I’m with you on these.

    I would add pretty much any version of “It’s the Most Wonderful Time Of The Year”.

    And also the versions where the artist doesn’t even sound like he cares about Christmas, he’s just recording the song to make some easy cash.

    The whole Michael Buble Christmas album comes to mind…

  3. Courtney says:

    “So this is Christmas” is just depressing

  4. kelly e says:

    “Last Christmas…I gave you my heart…”
    I want to “give it away!”

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