Published: 10 years ago

Listen to Your Wife

Sound the trumpets and break out the confetti, because Audience Participation Week is coming to an end.  As far as I know I’ve risen to the challenge, but hey…it’s still early in the day and there’s still the question of my technique on yesterday’s post.  

Today’s submissions come from Doug Garris.  You can find his original vote and a full run down of APW here, just in case those three words below that you’ve never seen before don’t tip you off.

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The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.  (Proverbs 31:11) 

A few years ago I was enduring that awesome American past time, the annual physical.  I’ll spare you the vast majority of the details, but one of the questions my doctor asked me was, “Are you having any trouble hearing?”  I replied, “Well, that would depend on whether you ask me or my wife.”  He said, “That’s called listening, and that’s not what I asked.  Are you having trouble hearing?”

Well doc, apparently I am, because I misunderstood the question.

Here’s something I’ve noticed about husband / wife relationships: some men are stupid.  (Let’s pause whilst the women fill the comment threads with praise and affirmation.)  I meet (or at least overhear) stupid men all the time who show their scorn and disdain for the counsel of their wife / old lady / ball and chain / whatever cutesy word with which they decide to bless their bride.  By their words and actions, they show how stiff necked and ignorant they are to believe that their wife doesn’t have anything valuable to speak into their life.  I don’t care if you’re a world-renowned malacologist or possess Jedi-like levels of midichlorians, your wife possesses wisdom that you need.

Over sixteen years of marriage, I’ve learned that Merriem has my best interest at heart.  She wants me to win.  She prays good and not evil for me (well, there was that one time…).  And because of that, when she speaks, I listen.  If she has a red flag about a person or situation or opportunity, even though I may not like what she has to say, I patiently listen to what she has to say, and most of the time I even heed what she has to say.  And sixteen years in, I can tell you that she’s rarely been wrong.

Does this mean that my wife owns the wisdom of Solomon?  Not necessarily.  But I believe that God gives wives a unique position to protect and influence their husband’s life and character.  Merriem has kept me from making stupid decisions.  She’s kept me from keeping an insane schedule.  She’s helped me to arrange my life and free time and career decisions in such a way that I come out looking a lot smarter than I actually am.  And while I would likely never be guilty of capital murder or inciting riots or defalcation, I’d like to think that somewhere along the line God has used her to steer me clear of those things, too.

Guys, you’re not as stupendously awesome as you might think.  Now would be a good time to put some time on the calendar to sit down with your wife and ask her these questions:

  1. Does my schedule honor our marriage and family and protect my health?
  2. Are there any relationships or habits in my life that cause you concern?
  3. Does my current trajectory lend itself to success in my career?
  4. Do I treat you in a way that you feel loved, cherished, and respected?
  5. Is there anything you see me doing that you think is unwise?

Dudes: listen to your wife.  And if you have kids, treat her to an outrageously expensive meal and gift this Sunday.  (And if you have to ask “Why this Sunday?”  Just go to Hallmark.  They’ll clue you in.)

  1. Mike G says:

    One of the better posts you have had in a long time(j/k). Sound pratical and biblical admonishment. Someone long ago(a month ago) told me that the term “helper” as in the Holy Spirit is very similiar in describing the term “helper” as related to your wife. We should not ignore either in knowing that as godly men we desire deeper communion with our Father. There is a chance I could be wrong. Have a great Danny…talk to you soon brother.

  2. Aaron Tant says:

    I agree with Mike G. Plus, my wife is perfect… at least that is what she tells me. But, in all seriousness, yes, we are aspiring to be Godly men… but, without our helpmate, how good can we be? I would venture into those murky waters to say it is just another reason why God uses marraige as his symbol for his relationship with us. Just a better way to commune with God and each other (is this where the girls yell out “girl power”?). Women, at least in my experience, have some great insights into many things that we as men just seem to take only at face value. I value my wife’s opinion and advice… I just need to ask for them more often so my foot won’t always be stuck in my mouth.
    Thank you Danny… great post!

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