Zoom In, Zoom Out
In Tasha Eurich’s great book Insight: The Surprising Truth About How Others See Us, How We See Ourselves, and Why the Answers Matter More Than We Think, she recounts the story of a cancelled flight and the airline employee named Bob who seemed almost fearful to break the news to her.
While her first instinct was to drop to the ground and “start foaming at the mouth,” she deliberately took a different approach:
“Luckily I’d recently learned about a tool developed by psychologist Richard Weissbourd calld “Zoom In, Zoom Out.” To successfully take others’ perspectives in highly charged situations, Weissbourd advises, we should start by “zooming in” on our perspective to better understand it. So I zoomed in: I’m hungry, tired, and furious at the airline for its mechanical ineptitude. Next, we should “zoom out” and consider the perspective of the other person. When I imagined what Bob was experiencing, I thought, Poor Bob, I wonder what his day has been like.
“Were you scheduled to work this evening?” I asked. “No, ma’am,” he instantly responded, pointing to his colleagues, “All four of us were heading home for the evening but were called back in. I was supposed to pick up my kids from school because my wife is out of town. I’ll probably be here until ten p.m.” I’d been feeling pretty sorry for myself, but I now felt even worse for Bob. I asked if the other passengers had been yelling at him. He nodded and said, “People usually get so mad that they forget we’re people, too.”
Since reading that passage a few months back, I find this concept keeps popping up in my brain. As leaders…shoot, as humans…we’d do well to take part in our own fair share of zooming in, zooming out:
Zoom in: my (lead pastor / boss / supervisor) doesn’t value my role or really know what I do. Zoom out: I have no idea the types of pressure he’s under, nor the span of care he’s responsible for.
Zoom in: that volunteer ghosted their serving spot for the second weekend in a row without telling me…maybe I should drop them from the team. Zoom out: I think I remember them mentioning that their mom was battling cancer? Maybe I should check in.
Zoom in: my kid is pushing every button and tap-dancing on my last nerve. Zoom out: I’ve been wrapped up in my own work today. Maybe I should put down the laptop and pull out a board game.
When we take the time to check the perspective of the person we’re at odds with, we are forced to remember that they too are human. They too have feelings. They too want to build the mutual relationship, not destroy it.
Where do you need to zoom out in your leadership today?
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