How to Celebrate Volunteers During Life’s Milestones
Leaders have certain responsibilities towards those whom we lead: we’re responsible for training. We’re responsible for coaching. We’re responsible for correcting.
But to our volunteers, one of the most felt responsibilities is how we care for them during the highs and lows of life. If a volunteer is serving on their birthday and we don’t acknowledge that (or offer them the day off), they can rightfully view us as transactional rather than relational. If a volunteer is pressing on even in the midst of a hard season, we risk missing an opportunity to be a shepherd as well as a leader.
[Related post: Stop Transacting. Start Relating]
(By the way, I’m using the terms celebrate and milestones, which conjure ideas of birthdays and anniversaries. But most of these principles can also apply to care and crisis, like surgeries, unexpected illnesses, and the death of a loved one.)
Here are seven principles to follow when marking milestones:
1. Consider your scale and scope.
The size of your team and the average stage of life is probably going to dictate how much you acknowledge. If you lead a team of eight people, it’s easy enough to not only remember their birthdays, but their kids’ birthdays as well. But if you have an army of 800, you might have to focus on service anniversaries at the 5, 10, 15 year mark, because a list of this week’s birthdays could take up half of your weekly communication.
And the stage of life matters, too. Most of us lead multi-generational teams, which means we have to factor in all kinds of milestones. If your team is heavy with college students, graduations and engagements factor in. If your team is heavy with senior adults, you might find yourself celebrating retirements or remembering the anniversary of a spouse’s death.
2. Pick your celebrations.
With that scale and scope in mind, you’ve got some choices to make. What are you choosing to remember, be aware of, and intentionally celebrate? Life’s milestones across generations seemingly have no end: graduation, engagement, new job, marriage, new baby, wedding anniversary, a big move, retirement, and of course the most obvious: birthdays.
But there are serving milestones to consider as well: a volunteer’s first day in the role. A volunteer’s transition to leading a team, a volunteer’s “wow moment” with a guest, and serving anniversaries to mark a year, five years, or twenty years of service.
You have the option of celebrating a thousand things every week, but let’s get real: you can’t do that. So pick the things you’re choosing to celebrate, and then…
3. Set a standard.
I have a precious neighbor named Miss Betty who is – as of this writing – 101 years old. Miss Betty has a slew of kids, grandkids, great-grands, and great-great-grands. Every single one of them gets a birthday card and a dollar amount dependent on their generational level. Do the kids know to expect this? Like clockwork. Do they feel like they’re a cog in the wheel? Listen, when you get a handwritten note from a 101-year-old, you celebrate the fact that she is around to celebrate you.
I share that to illustrate the importance of setting a standard. Once you know what you’re celebrating, you need to know how you’re celebrating it. To get this wrong risks blown budgets, hurt feelings, and cries of favoritism.
So figure out what milestones get celebrated or observed in what way. Do you have a weekly roll call in your volunteer huddle of that week’s birthdays and anniversaries? Then you’d better be committed to doing that every single week so someone isn’t missed. Do you want to make a big deal out of someone’s ten year serving anniversary? Then you’d better write down exactly what you did so that everyone in the future gets that treatment. You can’t throw a party for one volunteer and give them a $100 gift card, while another volunteer gets a verbal nod and a high five.
4. Don’t trust your memory.
With #2 (Pick your celebrations) firmly in mind, it’s time to get it out of your mind. Let’s agree on one thing: you will forget to remember. So create a spreadsheet with all of your volunteers, create columns for each thing you’re choosing to celebrate, and make sure that every box has either a date or a “n/a” so you know what’s missing. For example: every one of your volunteers was born, so every one of them should have a birthday marked on your spreadsheet. Not every volunteer is married, so you don’t have to worry about their anniversary.
And then, make sure that you don’t forget to remember the thing that helps you remember. Set an alarm for once a week that pesters you until you carefully review your list and know who gets the confetti that week.
5. Recognize your giftings.
I know two things about myself: I want people to feel honored, loved, and celebrated. But outside of my wife, kids, and grandkids, I’m not often sure of the best way to go about it.
But I do have a team member who thrives on celebrating people. So guess who is in charge of celebrations on our team? She gets a list and a budget, and she creates moments that make people feel known and loved. Could I do that? Probably. Should I do that? Not when God has placed someone far more gifted on our team.
6. Know when milestones mean something more.
As I said in the intro, this post has primarily focused on celebratory milestones. But there are other milestones that call for shepherding rather than celebrating. A major surgery means a volunteer isn’t going to be available for a while. Caring for a chronically ill parent or spouse means their serving attendance may be sporadic with last-minute absences. The death of a spouse, a major job transition, a wayward child, or a health scare can all mean that the volunteer will not be giving their full attention to their role…and rightfully so.
That’s the time to lean in, and make sure you know how the volunteer most wants to be cared for. Can you set up a meal train? Do they need people to clean their house? Do they view serving as a refuge, and would be heartbroken if you gave them time off? Do they need a long-term break?
Every person will need a different level of care. You’ll shepherd them well by knowing exactly what they need and responding accordingly.
7. Do for one what you wish you could do for all.
This is a statement I often quote from Andy Stanley. Your standards and spreadsheets and budgets are fine. You should have those, pursue those, and abide by those. But there are going to be times when you feel the nudge of the Spirit to do a bit more. Your standard practice might be to send a text to every team member on their birthday, but you may choose to take a long-serving team member to lunch occasionally. You might recognize everyone’s five year serving anniversary with a nice note and a gift card, but if there’s an especially universally-loved volunteer, your entire team might jump at the chance to celebrate them a little extra.
Standards matter and equitable treatment is important, but remember that caring for people can’t always fit on a spreadsheet.
