How to Lead Your “Too-Friendly” Volunteers
In a recent post I addressed how we can help our volunteers to be more proactive in watching for first-time guests. The guest’s body language, arrival times, and spoken-out-loud questions can signal opportunities for deeper connection.
But that post surfaced a problem that leans in the opposite direction: what do you do about a volunteer who is over-the-top friendly? You know the ones: the guy who goes from good morning to let me give you the breakdown on everything I think about our current political climate in four seconds flat, the obsessive hand-shaker and hugger (even to those who don’t like hand-shakes and hugs), the socially awkward joke-teller, the volunteer who thinks they’re coming across as friendly but actually seem a little stalkerish…
I could go on. So could you.
So what do we do about the over-the-top volunteer? I think there are really only three approaches (and #2 might be a stretch).
1. Remind your entire team of appropriate interactions.
There are a few “coaching conversations” that you should have on rotation for your volunteer huddles. You can remind people about the importance of a skeleton crew, or attend one serve one, or that VHQ is designed for volunteers, not volunteers’ kids and their grubby middle school friends.
But every few months, your coaching conversation should include very clear reminders about the best ways we physically interact with people. A few off-the-cuff examples:
- A warm smile goes a long way.
- When greeting a family, greet the family. Speak to everyone in the group, not just one person.
- If you don’t know someone, introduce yourself by name before continuing the conversation.
- Fist bumps or high fives for kids are usually fine; anything beyond that is a no.
- Male greeters should always let female guests lead the way on a handshake. (In fact, the first rule of male greeters is that female guests lead the way, period.)
- No politics.
- Breath mints are our friends.
Will those reminders catch everyone? Maybe not. The non-self-aware person will think these are great guidelines for everyone else in the room. More on this in #3.
[Related post: Broad Expectations vs. Narrow Conversations]
2. When possible, make a move.
I will tell you that this is usually the coward’s way out, and it is a fool’s errand. I know this because it has often been my way out, and it rarely has worked. So maybe I should’ve left it out, but let’s press on:
I think placement matters for all members of your Guest Services Team. If someone doesn’t like a lot of in-depth conversations, put them at a door where they can say “Hello!” a lot, but don’t have to do much more. If someone has the gift of being “aggressive with a smile,” put them on the seating team so they can tell folks where to go and make them think it was their idea.
You know your campus and your volunteer team, and you know that there may be a place that a volunteer can be positioned where they have the least chance to do the most damage. The guy who tells the unfunny jokes can be repositioned to the offering team…no one in their right mind does a knock-knock joke while collecting tithes. (Or do they?) The person who really doesn’t like people can be a part of the set up team (no one likes people at 5:30 a.m.).
But again, this is a fool’s errand that rarely works. And so that’s why in most cases you go straight from point number one to point number…
3. Have the awkward conversation.
Just rip off the band aid.
No one likes this route, unless you’re a psychopath. No one wants to make an eager volunteer feel bad about the way they volunteer. But as leaders, we must. Better to have a kind and clarifying conversation than have a well-intentioned but unaware volunteer continue to make people uncofortable:
I need to have a conversation that’s not going to be very comfortable, but I owe it to you as your leader. I have observed you [fill in the action]. Here’s why that does not fit in the culture we’re building. I value you as a volunteer and I want to see you thrive. I’m challenging you to be aware of that action and change it so our guests feel drawn in rather than alienated.
Having the awkward conversation is never fun. It might lead to a volunteer jumping ship rather than making a change. But we do owe it to our volunteers and our guests. We can be kind and clear, direct and compassionate. But we must be both clear and direct.
[Related post: How Do I Handle A Problem Volunteer?]
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