How to Care for All Guests (When New Guests Keep Coming)

This is the next installment in our ongoing “Large Church” series, which looks at guest services through the lens of the larger congregation: those with an average attendance of 800 or more. While any church can deal with these issues, they seem to especially be true of larger churches.

See the entire series here.

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Larger churches tend to see a steady inflow of new people. It makes sense: a bigger base of “regulars” simply have a bigger base of friendships. The more regulars = the more there are to invite. Add to that, a larger, steadily growing church tends to catch the eye of those on the outside, causing some to check out what’s going on.

But that doesn’t mean that the regulars always like it when things get … um … irregular. If we’re going to create a healthy guest culture at our church, we have to care for those who have been guests for five minutes and those who have been “guests” for five decades.

Here are five ways to care for all of your people:

1. Recognize the equilibrium shift.

Whether it’s a family with a new baby, a work team with a new team member, or a church with a new attendee, anytime you introduce a new person to the equation, there will be a shift to the organization.

In larger churches, regulars will feel that shift in their small groups, their preferred seating or parking spot, their normal worship service time that they’re being asked to vacate to leave room for others. Feeling that shift isn’t wrong. But when leaders refuse to acknowledge that real shift and people’s real feelings, that’s when we get ourselves in trouble.

We can’t ignore the growing pains and hope they’ll go away. Doing so guarantees that the pain will get bigger, and it might guarantee that the growth will decrease.

2. Help people to prepare for the open chair.

As leaders, we must help the entire congregation to be guest-friendly. Guest Services can’t be relegated to a team we have, it must be who we are.

And so we have to help the average pew dweller, the non-Guest Services volunteer, the typical staff member think about what their role is when someone arrives in their small group, on their serving team, or in the seat next to them on Sunday. What’s their posture? How do they personally help them connect?

We do this best by talking about it often, by making sure every person knows the part they have to play.

3. Make sure First Impressions isn’t just for first timers.

Maybe my “…guests for five decades” line in the intro raised your hackles just a bit. Let me be clear: there’s a difference between guests and family. We want to move people from being connected to church to being committed to church.

But that doesn’t mean that we lose the type of kindness and hospitality that serves others well. An email from that long-time member who is complaining again should be met with the same grace (and speed) we’d show a brand new person seeking information on how to read the Bible.

[Related post: Why First Impressions isn’t Just for First Timers]

4. Tie the bigger story to their story.

Growth can be exciting or an inconvenience. It can be something to pursue or something to avoid. The posture that a regular holds may very well depend on how they think about the personal impact to them. (Maybe it shouldn’t be that way, but let’s not try to tackle the fixing of human nature in this post.)

If someone else’s friend is showing up at a church, taking up a chair, hearing the gospel, coming to faith, and growing as a disciple, that’s theoretically good, because that’s what we’re about as a church, right? But it’s still someone taking up a chair. And I don’t necessarily know someone else’s friend.

The key is to tie the bigger picture of growth to their personal life: what if it’s your friend? Your neighbor? Your grandson? Putting theoretical relationships into concrete terms often changes their investment and interest.

5. Invite insiders to the cause.

And speaking of investment and interest, here’s the ironic thing about the burden of growth: if we’re not personally invested, it will feel like an overwhelming burden. Our seats are taken, our small group has changed, our service is too full. But if we’re personally invested – inviting friends, serving on Guest Services, deputized to meet new people – what was a burden last week becomes a blessing this week. When we can consistently see the role we play, new people become something we’re excited about, not dread.

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