An Open Letter to Kirk Cameron Fans

Dear Readers:

I’m a bit of a sucker for stats.  I check the incoming links on this blog frequently to find out how you’re getting here.  Some of you visit this blog because we’re friends, and you are supporting the cyber-machine we call Connective Tissue (thank you).  Some of you are my family, and you’re shocked that I ever learned to spell, much less crank out five posts a week (miracles do happen).  Some of you arrive here via kind Summit bloggers who have put a link to this blog on their site (glad to have you).

But then there are the Google searches.  Ahhh…the Google searches.  Each day I can view a list of search terms that people typed into the magical Google box in order to arrive on these digital pages.  There have been some real doozies.  For example, I have no idea why Google led people here when someone typed in “standish group + recognize a dead horse.”  Nor do I understand the link between this blog and “palin shoe shine.”  While I am a firm supporter in recognizing dead horses (especially if you’re a member of the Standish group) and believe that Sarah’s cute shoes should have a glossy finish, I’ve simply never written about those topics.

But what perplexes me the most are the Kirk Cameron fans.

Since September 30 when this post went live, I have been deluged by almost 400 hits from people who typed young Kirk’s name into Google and started surfing.  You might be one of those people.

I’m curious: which Kirk are you looking for?  Are you looking for Mike Seaver Kirk, of whom my wife had every photo cut out of Bop magazine and taped to her bedroom walls when she was a teenager?  Trying to find Left Behind Kirk (because if so you can pick up a VHS copy at the Family Christian Store clearance bin for 99 cents)?  Or maybe you want Way of the Master Kirk or Fireproof Kirk?  I’d just like to know.

I also am curious as to your determination and unyielding drive.  I just went to Google and typed in KC’s name, just to see where this blog popped up.  I gotta tell you, in the first ten pages there was nary a sign of yours truly.  That means you went to page eleven and beyond.  How much of your day do you devote to searching for Kirk?  May I help you find a support group?  I understand in these uncertain economic times we need someone to show us that smile again (oh yeah, I just whooped out a Growing Pains theme song reference), but perhaps you are…I don’t know…obsessed?  Should Chelsea be concerned over your fascination with her husband?

Editor’s note: and should we be concerned that you just pulled his wife’s name out of thin air without doing a Google search of your own?  Who’s obsessed here?

Finally, I’m curious if this blog scratches your Kirk itch.  I’ll admit that in the original post I just used Kirk as a lead-in to a totally unrelated story, and yet many of you went on to read that story.  Did you suddenly forget about Kirk and begin planning your next vacation to our West Club Campus?  Did all Growing Pains-related thoughts flee your mind as you immediately added this blog to your RSS feed?

However you got here, I’m glad you’re here.  And I want to be very clear that I’m quite the Kirk Cameron fan myself.  He is a genuinely nice guy that walks his talk and has demonstrated what it means to use your career as a platform for ministry.  I’ve even thought about breaking down and buying his autobiography, except that I’m afraid my wife will want to tape the dust jacket to the fridge.  And besides, anytime we can get an eighties child star over on the Christian team, it’s a good thing.  I’ve heard that the next targets are Fred Savage, the girl with the hippie name that played Punky Brewster, and maybe ALF.  Can aliens become believers?  We’ll never know until we try, but maybe Way of the Master Kirk can help us find out.

Thanks for visiting,

Danny