Parenting 101

When you have four kids, people wrongly assume that you’re a parenting expert. They come by the droves asking advice, lining up at the front door like pilgrims in search of a guru on a misty mountain. Or at least they used to. That was before people started actually hearing my advice, which basically boils down to:

1. Never lose your kids.
2. If you do lose your kids, find another kid that looks like the one you lost, so you don’t get in trouble with your wife.

But my wife? Now there’s your parenting expert. This latest gem comes from her very creative / somewhat devious mind.

You see, our two year old is what you would call…active. Perhaps insane. I’m not sure. We affectionately refer to her as Hurricane Haven, because if her eyes are open, she’s on the move.

So last week, Merriem was painting her fingernails, and the Category 5 of Cuteness strolled by. Cat 5 wanted her nails painted, too. So Merriem painted her toenails.

And then proceeded to tell Haven that she had to sit very, very still while her nails dried.

Which took quite a bit longer than the average nail drying time of – oh, say thirty minutes.

If you’re catching my false imprisonment drift.

But the amazing thing is – it worked. Haven believed her mommy. She sat stock still on the couch for an inordinately long time. And Merriem actually was able to get a few things done around the house without wondering what piece of furniture the Hurricane was currently dismantling.

My wife: she’s a genius.

Oh – and here’s the finished project. Pink paint on brown toes? That’ll melt a daddy’s heart.

photo credit