Tips for Remote Warriors

As I type, a portion of our church offices (including my own) are getting a quick paint job. Our offices are mostly populated by guys in their 20’s to 40’s, so the walls are not what you would call “pristine condition.” Sure, they started out beigey when we moved in a few years ago, but over time they’ve become rich shades of scuff mark gray and chair ding brown. (No, I don’t know how chair dings leave “brown.” It’s an illustration. Move along.)

But I digress. The paint job has required that we vacate the premises for a few days, because apparently painters don’t like you standing around watching them and making helpful comments (“That’s gonna need a second coat.”) or questions (“Can you do me a mural of a bear holding a sword?”). And so a couple dozen of us have left the building and been forced to fend for ourselves at coffee shops and fast food joints around the Triangle. Today is the last day of this great adventure, and I am both broke and obese.

I’ll admit: I enjoy the occasional day out of the office. Sometimes there’s nothing better than holing up at a local Starbucks to get caught up on email or finish a project while listening to some electro-pop-jazz-funk music blaring in the speakers over your head, all the while eavesdropping on the guy next to you loudly explaining how the Christians stole Christmas (true story).

To do that once every week or so? Glorious. But I’m discovering that working remotely for an extended period of time just ain’t my cup of tea. Even if the refills are free. (Did you see what I did there?)

In preparation for the exile, our Missions Pastor Curt Alan sent out a very helpful memo to remind us how to be good remote workers. I reprint it here without his permission, because I’m 96% sure he doesn’t read this blog so what does it matter.

Hi folks,

With our office and meeting space in transition, I suspect more and more of us will begin to “office out of” and hold meetings in local business (e.g., coffeehouses and restaurants).

As such, we need to be keenly aware that our neighbors (and small business owners) are watching and forming opinions of us, the Summit, and what and whom we represent.

To that end, I’ll offer some well-placed and very specific reminders:

• When you hold a meeting of 5-10 people for several hours in a local business and only 1-2 people actually order something, people notice.
• When you do buy something but don’t bother to tip (even minimally), people notice.
• When you regularly office out of a local business for 3-5 hours at a time, multiple times a week, and only order a small coffee that you periodically refill (for free), people notice.
• When you office out of or hold a meeting in a local business, rearrange tables & chairs, and then leave without putting things back the way you found them and not cleaning up after yourself, people notice.

This kind of behavior reflects poorly on all of us so let’s be extra vigilant.

(I would also add “Don’t leave your Panera pager on your formica-topped table and walk away while it incessantly buzzes.” I’m talkin’ to you, Lady-Who-Just-Left-Her-Panera-Pager-On-The-Formica-Topped-Table-Six-Feet-Away-From-Me.)

I appreciate Curt’s reminder to be good ambassadors not only for the church, but for the kingdom in general. So how about it, remote warriors? What other tips do you have for us? Or better yet, a question for the food service folks: what are your squatters’ horror stories? Comment below.