How Does a Hospitable Culture Apply to a Counseling Ministry?
We’re in an ongoing series called Hospitable Culture. The big question is this: What if hospitality isn’t something we do, it’s simply who we are? In other words, what if we could bump hospitality beyond the borders of an official team, and work it into every crevice of the church?
Recently, I joined our Pastor of Counseling Brad Hambrick for a Q&A session around the topic of hospitality and the local church’s counseling ministry. The setting was a cohort of church leaders seeking to replicate or improve the counseling offerings of their own churches. If you’re interested in trainings offered by Summit’s counseling ministry, keep an eye on bradhambrick.com/events for future workshops.
Some context for this post: Brad and his team offer a wide variety of options to our church and community, from individual counseling to support groups to weekend-long seminars on a particular topic such as marriage or parenting. This post will focus on support or recovery group ministries because these function far more like a public event and have a have a hospitality feel more than that of individual counseling. A brief introduction to Summit’s group-based counseling ministry can be found in this brief video.
Why hospitality especially matters in counseling:
When a church member or individual from your community reaches out for counseling, that visit is inevitably precipitated by a major life hardship. As people of hospitality, we can’t just think about what happens once this individual arrives at the church, but what happens in the first moments they arrive on property. Our driving questions should be, How can we make this individual feel honored and cared for, and how can we lessen any friction they already feel? The helping relationship begins as soon as we begin to help this person set aside the fears or shame that would impede them embracing the hope God wants for them.
Why hospitality is tricky in counseling:
Our Sunday morning playbook doesn’t necessarily work for a relationship, like counseling, that is built upon confidentiality. An army of parking volunteers and signage pointing to the counseling offices will make them feel more “spotlighted” than cared for. We have to strike a balance of being helpful without being overbearing. We need to provide intuitive cues and prompts rather than a person-to-person, concierge-style approach.
Thinking through it (so they don’t have to think through it):
(Incoming TMI…you’ve been warned.)
Last year I had a routine medical procedure: “routine” in the sense that millions of people – ahem – my age have had it done, not-so-routine in the fact it was my first particular rodeo.
And yet because of an excellent staff at a local facility, they thought through every single detail so that all I needed to do was follow the checklist: buy this. Drink that. Schedule the other thing. Show up here. Plan on this.
I don’t think I’d ever felt so cared for by someone I’d never met and who I’d likely not remember (because they gave me good sleepy juice). My point: their robotic, routine, run-of-the-mill checklist did all the heavy lifting so I didn’t have to.
(TMI session over. Thank you for awkwardly suffering with me.)
So take a cue from my medical provider and think through your counselee’s experience so they don’t have to:
- A “what to expect” email as soon as they inquire about your church’s counseling ministry. Where do I show up? Where do I park? How early should I arrive? How long will this take? Who will I be meeting with? What should I know?
- A repeat “what to expect” within 24 hours before they arrive. Because people will lose that original email. Clarity is kindness and repetition is okay.
- Clear signage. No, you don’t necessarily need an a-frame with “COUNSELEES TURN HERE” in 200 point bold font. But if your counseling offices are in Building C, make sure the pre-visit email spells that out and tells them to follow the signs to Building C.
- Discreet check-in. Do your counselees have to let a church receptionist know they’ve arrived? Train that person on how to be helpful without making it weird.
- Creature comforts. I wrote about this in an earlier blog post (and great news…even more TMI awaits!), but your waiting rooms and meeting rooms matter.
When people come to us in crisis, let’s not add to the crisis by forgetting the basics of hospitality. What can you do in your own counseling context to show care to those you’re caring for?
Much thanks to Brad Hambrick and Marilyn Marrero, who offered helpful insights and commentary on this post. Some of the wording above is based on Brad’s edits of an early draft.
