Monday is for Movies?
I’m not a jump-on-the-bandwagon kind of guy, especially when it comes to pop culture. I probably should be, but I’m just not. I rarely get into TV shows when they’re actually on air…I usually start watching them after they’re in syndication. The latest and greatest book – although I might buy it – usually sits on my bookshelf until the cool factor has long worn off and nobody wants to discuss it once I’ve read it.
Movies are no different. I heard a conversation on one of the drive-time talk shows last week that reminded me that there are movies that I have still not seen, a fact that could get my Man Card taken away, at least on some of them.
Oh sure, I attempt to look like I’ve watched them. I have even (I’m almost ashamed to admit this) quoted lines from movies I’ve never actually seen. Poser.
But now it’s time to speak up…to come clean. In an effort to broaden my horizons, and risking the fact that this post has absolutely nothing to do with ministry, I share with you the Top Five Greatest Movies I’ve Never Seen. (A disclaimer: as a good Baptist boy, I’m not necessarily recommending any of these movies…remember I’ve never seen them. Some of them may indeed have very naughty content (i.e., dancing) which wouldn’t be proper for me to endorse. And yes, you’re welcome to warn me of that in your comments.)
- Braveheart: I know Mel Gibson paints his face blue, makes a big speech, yells “Freedom!”, and I just lost dude points by not having seen this. I know…no excuses…I should go to Blockbuster today.
- The Shawshank Redemption: no clue as to why this should be a movie I should watch, but everyone says it is, so I included it.
- Top Gun: as an 80’s teenager, I really can’t tell you why I didn’t watch this. Maybe I had a prophecy that one day Tom Cruise would jump up and down on Oprah’s couch and negate the movie’s coolness. Nevertheless, I know Spence Shelton has called me “Goose” in the past and I’m curious as to whether that’s a good thing.
- Terminator (I, II, or III): When Robert Patrick made a cameo in Wayne’s World (a movie I actually did see…several times), it took me a long time to figure out why everyone was laughing that this particular cop had pulled them over.
- Schindler’s List: ummm…nope.
You make me sad. You live in the black hole of culture. Let’s see…I’d recommend Ladyhawk, with Michelle Pfiefer and Matthew Broderick, Say Anything with John Cusack and The Green Mile with Tom Hanks. If you’re willing to spend some time sitting on your butt, eyes glued to the TV screen, we’ll stuff some culture into you.
good lord franks. how do you expect to raise sons who love Jesus without ever having seen these movies.
Your “dudeness” just went down the drain. I am loving your confessions though, keep it up!
Kearsie, I gave The Green Mile a shot once. Merriem and I were into it until the flies came out of the big dude’s mouth. I was gone after that. That’s the problem with those big blockbuster movies. There’s usually at least one weird special effect / incomprehensible British humor / random naked guy you always have to deal with.
Hence the culture. Actually, I read The Green Mile, and that helped the movie. For real, just work on those movies you’ve listed. Can’t believe you’ve never even seen Top Gun. By the way, Goose dies.
Please dont let me be considered as one that would only comment on movies, I just found your blog.
My Top 10 Old Guy Movies:
The Longest Day- John Wayne and a bunch
Midway- Henry Fonda, Charlton Heston
The Searchers- John Wayne(he said it was his best)
The Right Stuff – Ed Harris, Dennis Quaid, Scott Glenn
The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance- John Wayne, Lee Marvin
The Great Escape- Steve McQueen
Bullitt- Steve McQueen
Once Upon A Time In the West- Charles Bronson, Henry Fonda
Winchester ’73 – Jimmy Stewart
Memphis Belle- Matthew Modine, Harry Connick, Jr
Let me know if you would like for me to join you for a viewing. Each time I watch The Great Escape, I keep hoping McQueen clears the barbed wire fence.
Dave, welcome to the blog!
You may not be up on your 80’s movies but I have it on good authority that you are an expert on “Saved By the Bell”.
As long as you’ve seen Gladiator you’re ok in my book. That’s man enough!
So, I personally have never seen this, but according to most of the guys I have interacted with Blazing Saddles is a pretty big deal.
Lance says to tell you to watch The Godfather. I personally have never watched The Godfather, but I did see You’ve Got Mail, and it was practically the same thing.
Okay, now THAT was flippin’ hilarious.
dodgeball, zoolander, and talladega nights.