Danny Recommends: Table Covers

Today I’m continuing a new, every-once-in-a-while series I call Danny Recommends:, posts that tip you off to the stuff that I…well…that I recommend. The recommendations might be products for use in your ministry, resources that will help you develop leaders around you, or just fun stuff that you need. Want. Whatever. Yes, you can always see a constantly-updated list of books and such that I recommend over on the Reading List, but these posts will go into further detail. For other posts in the series, check out the link at the bottom.

If you live in church world, you’re familiar with the following dilemma: it’s time to set up for a meeting, and you’re scrounging for a few folding tables to toss in your meeting room. Your options are as follows: the folding tables from the kids’ area, which are festooned with crayon marks and boogers; the folding tables from the student area, which are decorated with chewed gum and bad word carvings; or the folding tables from the fellowship hall, which are encrusted with the remnants of Ms. Juanita’s tuna surprise from four fellowship meals ago (the surprise is that she keeps making it even though it’s obviously nasty).

Let’s be clear: there is no amount of Clorox wipes that will clean a table well enough so you can deliver a good first impression to your meeting participants. And maybe you’ve tried exercising one of these methods:

• Fancy linen tablecloth that you have to borrow from the sacred holy-of-holies hospitality closet. (This results in death threats from the hospitality committee chair and an all-night laundering and folding session.)
• Cheap plastic table cover that you buy for a buck at Dollar Tree. (This results in static cling and that annoying air pocket right in the middle of the table.)
• Strategic arrangement of the snack bowl and/or handouts to cover the most offensive booger and/or bad words carved in the table. (This results in an unfortunate shock when someone is digging for the last miniature Twix.)

I know you’ve tried them all, because I’ve tried them all. And everything has come up lacking.

Until now.

My friends, I couldn’t be any more excited about today’s endorsement if I were getting paid to deliver it (and I’m not…see disclaimer below). Just a few weeks ago I found the holy grail of table coverings. I have been on this search for years, and finally hit the jackpot. My goal wasn’t to find a traditional tablecloth. I wasn’t interested in something that draped off of the side of the table and therefore had to be carefully folded after each use. Nope, I just wanted something to hug the tabletop, something I can just toss on and off as the meeting mood strikes.

The Premier Table Linens line of spandex table toppers is my new favorite thing. For rectangular tables they come in 4′, 6′ and 8′ lengths. For round tables, you can find them in 30″ – 72″ widths. And folks, these things work. They hug the top of the table just right. They don’t hang down into the laps of your meeting participants. Because they’re made of breathable fabric, there are no air pockets to deal with. The spandex means you don’t have to worry about folding them neatly (fitted sheet nightmares, anyone?), and they look great.

[October 2023 update: I should note here that I do not recommend the Premier Table Linens line of table covers that provide full, to-the-floor coverage for both rectangular and highboy tables (Spandex covers, sometimes called scuba covers). The stitching is not strong enough to handle the stretch of the fabric. Instead, go to Georgia Expo for this type of cover.]

Keep those boogers covered, my friends. Impress your meeting participants with how debonair your tables look. Order some of these beauties today.

See all posts in the Danny Recommends: series.

Disclaimer: FTC watchdogs will probably want to know that Premier Table Linens did not ask for this endorsement, nor did they provide me with free swag in order to do so. I’m just a really satisfied customer who wants to let you know where you can get some great products. So there.