If we’ve met in person, it may surprise you to know that I’m naturally wired as an introvert. If have a proverbial hat to wear or role to play, I can flip on the extroversion switch pretty easily. But at the end of an extroverted day I’m going to need to sit in a darkened room and stare at a wall and get over you. (I mean, people in general, but specifically, it’s probably you.)

That’s why I was really excited to pick up Susan Cain’s Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. I took it to my introvert chair and turned on my introvert lamp and did some introvert reading, and I enjoyed every last introverted moment. Through compelling research and an easier-to-read-than-you’d-think narrative style, Cain helped an introvert / ambivert like me know that (a) I’m not alone and (b) it’s okay to be alone. (#didyouseewhatididthere)

Here are my top ten favorite quotes:

• Not all introverts are necessarily shy. Shyness is the fear of social disapproval or humiliation, while introversion is a preference for environments that are not overstimulating.
• [On extroverted leaders and the teams they lead] They may want to learn to sit down so that others might stand up.
• “The evangelical culture ties together faithfulness with extroversion. The emphasis is on community, on participating in more and more programs and events, on meeting more and more people. It’s a constant tension for many introverts that they’re not living that out.” (From a conversation with Adam McHugh, author of Introverts in the Church. This section alone is worth the price of the book.)
• [On collaboration] Studies have shown that performance gets worse as group size increases: groups of nine generate fewer and poorer ideas compared to groups of six, which do worse than groups of four.
• “Soft power is a quiet persistence. The people I’m thinking of are very persistent in their day-to-day, person-to-person interactions. Eventually they build up a team.” – Preston Ni
• …introverts are capable of acting like extroverts for the sake of work they consider important, people they love, or anything they value highly.
• …the best way to act out of character is to stay as true to yourself as you possibly can – starting by creating as many “restorative niches” as possible in your everyday life. “Restorative niche” is [the] term for the place you go when you want to return to your true self.
• Many of us are uncomfortable with the idea of taking on a “false” persona for any length of time. And if we act out of character by convincing ourselves that our pseudo-self is real, we can eventually burn out without even knowing why.
• When your conscientiousness impels you to take on more than you can handle, you begin to lose interest, even in tasks that normally engage you.
• [On parenting introverted children] Arrange for him to enter new social situations as gradually as possible…It’s much easier to be one of the earlier guests, so your child feels as if other people are joining him in a space that he “owns,” rather than having to break into a preexisting group.

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