How Does a Hospitable Culture Apply to Kids Ministry?
We’re in a new series called Hospitable Culture. The big question is this: What if hospitality isn’t something we do, it’s simply who we are? In other words, what if we could bump hospitality beyond the borders of an official team, and work it into every crevice of the church?
In my opinion, there may be no other single ministry in the church (outside of the Guest Services Team itself) that makes or breaks a hospitable culture more than a children’s ministry. Think of what our kids teams pull off each week: they are creating environments that invite parents to drop their most precious investments off to a room full of strangers. From sticky-handed preschoolers to hyperactively-awkward fourth graders, the way a kids team interacts with kids (and their parents) can be the linchpin that convinces new families to return…or chases them away forever.
So, who better to sit down with than my friend and coworker Toiya Williams, the Summit’s Central Kids Director. In her role, Toiya oversees the Kids Directors at all of our campuses, and is ultimately responsible for the weekly care of nearly 2,500 kids from birth through fourth grade (and their parents) each week. I asked Toiya for her pro tips on creating warm and welcoming environments for the families who walk into the kids spaces every Sunday. Here’s a recap of our conversation:
Be mindful of first-time families.
Our Guest Services Team does everything possible to catch first-time guests at our First Time Guest Tent. If that family has children, we encourage them to take advantage of Summit Kids and gather a little more information. That info immediately goes into our database, which allows us to walk the family into our Kids area and show them how the check in process works each week.
We then hand off to a Summit Kids volunteer, who retrieves their security tag from the kiosk. The tag is a special color to identify the child as a first-timer, alerting all vols to show them special care. They’ll be walked to their classroom(s) so the parents can get a feel for the space and know where to return for pickup. All throughout the hallway is a team of Kids Hosts, who are there simply to greet, direct traffic, and answer questions. (This team is helpful for first-timers and long-timers!)
Our Kids team is currently working on a first-time guest gift bag especially for newer families, giving them an overview of our family ministries and outlining what to expect in subsequent visits.
Be available to first-time parents.
Our Kids staff works hard to be aware of women and men in our congregation who are about to become parents for the first time. They do this via connection with small group leaders and simply being aware of who’s expecting. They then make themselves available to answer questions about the nursery area, give a tour of the space, and serve as a resource for this new chapter as new parents.
In a church that prioritizes foster care and adoption, it also means having fostering and adoptive families continually on our radar. A family can move from zero to four kids from one Sunday to the next, or have any number of kids come in and out of their lives as circumstances dictate. The Kids team wants to serve those families well, making sure that we’re ready at a moment’s notice to help with the unexpected.
(And as a side note here, we don’t assume relationships until we know for sure. Our Kids volunteers are trained to ask “Who is your grownup?” … because that grownup can be a biological parent. Or a court-appointed guardian. Or a temporary caregiver or a family friend or an uncle or a neighbor. Those notes can then be added to the child’s profile, but we don’t assume until we ask.)
Get small.
Yes, first-time parents can be nervous dropping their kids off for the first time, but their anxiety is typically nothing compared to the anxiety of their children. That’s why Toiya leads her team to get small. The presence of a towering adult can either be interpreted as protection or powerful. And usually that powerful is not a positive in the eyes of a child…it’s scary.
So we get small. We get on our knees to look a child in the eyes. During check-in, we talk to the child at least as much as we talk to the adult. We get on their level physically as well as relationally, noticing their light-up shoes or their Bluey backpack, asking kid-friendly questions to help them get comfortable with this new grownup friend.
Be warmly assertive.
We want to be as relational as possible when it comes to kids and their grownups. But we also have strong boundaries and protocols to keep kids safe. Adults can’t wander through the kids space unless they’re accompanied by a staff member or they have a pickup tag (and it’s time for pick up). We have volunteer ratios for each classroom that cannot be compromised. In preschool restrooms, doors open from both sides so there is full view at all times.
And when any family arrives, they are greeted at the classroom door by a leader who welcomes and invites the child(ren) in with warmth and accountability…building the physical list of kids present in the room.
Remove all barriers.
From day one, our Kids vols work with parents to discover what works with their child. If they’re having a tough morning or mourning a hard loss, we want to be aware of that so we can respond and minister appropriately. We fill out detailed profiles on kids in the database so any adult that interacts with that child knows the best plan of care for them.
Because we want to be allergen-conscious, our Kids spaces are nut-free zones, and we provide gluten-free and dairy-free snack options upon request.
Every classroom has spare and plentiful age-appropriate supplies to be used as needed. Extra diapers, wipes, changes of clothes…all of those things are important so that parents can worship freely without having to be called out for a small emergency.
In our permanent facilities, the preschool rooms have preschool potties. In rented facilities, we utilize potty inserts so that kids don’t have to hover.
And for families of children with special needs, the goal is simply to make sure every child has what they need.
We partner with families to raise the next generation for Christ.
You’ll see this phrase throughout our facilities and on all sorts of printed material, because we believe it’s true. Our Summit Kids Team doesn’t raise children, and we’re not the primary disciplers of children. Rather, we partner with families to provide great resources and environments, giving the families the tools to help their kids love Jesus and be passionate about his mission.
That all starts the first time a family walks into Summit Kids, whether their kid is six weeks or six years old. As the dad of four Summit Kids alumni, I couldn’t be more grateful for our Kids team and the environments they’ve created through the years in high school hallways and elementary school gyms and historic theater ballrooms and first-class facilities. And as the Pops of the next generation of the Summit Kids: Franks clan edition, I’m thankful for the care they provide for our ever-growing number of grandkids, helping our kids raise kids who love Jesus.
photo credit: Rob Laughter
