Top Ten Quotes: Toxic Church
If you’ve never served on a church staff or in vocational ministry, you’ll be glad to know that our days are filled with chapel services, Chris Tomlin wafting through the offices (not Chris Tomlin songs, the flesh-and-blood Chris Tomlin), and of course, the official snack of church staffs: angel food cake (often hand-fed to us on tiny frilled toothpicks by – you guessed it – Chris Tomlin).
All of that is … not necessarily true. I’ve served on a few church staffs in more than three decades of ministry – my current role taking up over 2/3 of that time – and chapel services and angel food cake aren’t exactly the norm. Like many office cultures, we deal with emails and policy meetings, incredible friendships and occasional infighting, mission focus and attention drift.
But I’m deeply thankful that I’ve never been a part of a church staff with systemic toxicity. And I’m even more thankful for trusted friends like Janetta Oni, who uncorks that topic in her new book Toxic Church: How to Recognize—and Overcome—Burnout and Unhealthy Staff Culture.
Janetta has been a part of our own staff team for the last five years. She’s a valuable voice and a wise sage (you’ve seen her on this blog before). And her book draws on years of experience in church world, helping us to carefully navigate those issues that are actually dangerous to the Kingdom and dishonoring to Jesus.
Here are my top ten favorite quotes:
- …sometimes I think we as Christians idolize unnecessary suffering. We live in a world where victimhood makes you special and people not liking you means you’re doing something right.
- [I]n all of the noice I surrounded myself with, the one sound I was never allowing myself to hear was the sound of my own soul.
- Obsession with what others think of you is just as poisonous as having no regard for others. Self-awareness should lead to confidence and comfort in your own skin.
- Every church, no matter how healthy, will catch a cold from time to time, just like people do.
- A toxic church structure is any organizational system, protocol, or hierarchy that consistently impedes the well-being of its members, stifles open and respectful communication, obstructs fair decision-making, and undermines the mission of the church.
- Poor communication serves as an accomplice to every form of toxic behavior we have discussed in this book.
- Toxic leadership is a style of leadership defined by actions and attitudes that cause harm to the people and organizations they’re meant to be leading.
- Leaders who stubbornly cling to their initial vision, despite new information or changing conditions, run the risk of alienating their staff and congregations.
- Our behavior can either act as a roadblock or a catalyst for healthy rhythms within our staff’s lives.
- When we’re aware of our natural tendency to become defensive, we can choose a more thoughtful, intentional response.
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