Published: 11 years ago

Why I Refuse to Blog

Those of you who know me well know that I’m a late adopter.  It’s hard for me to jump on the bandwagon until all the bugs are worked out, the price has gone down, and there’s no chance that it’ll multiply if I feed it after midnight.  Example: I bought my first cell phone only about five years ago.  Yep, I watched all of you with your cool bag phones, gleeful that you will have chronic back problems and self-esteem issues for the rest of your days.  But I figured gettin’ down with my celly was too expensive, too much of a luxury, and would give me too many brain tumors if I caved too early.

So it is with blogging.  I’ve waited, debated, mutated, and finally decided to get on board.  I figure if this guy has a blog, there’s no chance in me being the most uncool blogger in all the world.  But, there are still a few reasons why it’s taken so long…

  1. What the heck do I have to say?  I’m kinda like Forrest Gump…I am not a smart man.  You want theological musings on everything from evangelistic protocol to Mormon holy underwear, better check out another page.  Here, it’s more along the lines of trying to make sure spell check can keep up.
  2. Who the heck wants to read it?  Last summer when I was in Central Asia, my team and I started talking about the pros and cons of blogging.  It was an overwhelming bloodbath when I mentioned I was thinking about it.  Friends that I have known for years turned on me with viciousness and ice picks, telling me that bloggers were stupid and they would never read my blog no matter what I said, what I paid them, or how interesting it was.  I was deeply encouraged and immediately started therapy.  So with that in mind let me just say to Carla, “I found a blue-eyed rich doctor who wants to marry you.  Call me and I’ll give you his phone number.”  (That’ll teach her not to read my stuff.)
  3. Vanity, vanity… I don’t want to be one of those guys who is slave to the stats counter.  That’s why you’ll never see one on this site.  And I’m thinking about blocking it from my list of approved sites, just because yes, I am that shallow.
  4. I ain’t doing this every day.  This ties in to #1 above.  But good glory, I got stuff to do, people.  I will be about as irregular as the 2008 cheddar cheese eating champion.
  5. Blogging is a gateway drug that leads to other evils, the main one being Twitter.  I refuse to even give you a hyperlink to Twitter, so loathsome is it in my world.  Let me say this: if you ever get to the point where you care that I talked to my mechanic today or that I’m pulling into the ATM drive up lane, you need to purchase some pharmaceutical products.  Fast.
July 11 update: I was a little hasty yesterday in linking to John Hood’s blog (you can link to it above) and categorizing him as uncool.  John is a UK blogger who found out about the link and was a great sport about the whole thing.  However, his friends have put me in the same camp as Salman Rushdie.  That’s why I’m waving the white flag (translated: they scare me) and declaring that John is indeed cooler than me.  Oh yeah…and he has a Mac.  Which is a no-brainer.  You can read John’s gracious recap of the whole thing at the bottom of this post.
Counting down the days until this blog nets me my very own posse…

  1. ~Mad says:

    I came here from RuralRouteChurch – I will enjoy reading you “stuff” regardless of how frequent or infrequent – I also read –

    Ya’ll are just peasant and enjoyable – don’t worry about the other “stuff”.

    ~Mad(elyn) in Alabama

  2. Danny says:

    Thanks Madelyn! Glad to have you here.

  3. dwideshroode says:

    QUESTION: What will you blog about when you stop blogging about blogging?

  4. dwideshroode says:

    QUESTIONs: If I order Fibersure from the link on your blog, do you get paid? Is that how you are paying for this site?

  5. waddey says:

    I’m so glad your not blogging but if you did your stuff would be funnier than an episode of Full House.

  6. Carla says:

    Ok so someone today at the office told me you are now Blogging and it pays to show up at the office. What is up with that, now I know the world is coming to an end soon and I am still here to see it. CRAZY all I have to say. What is happening. Hey what is the number of my blue eyed doc. See I did read your blog. love ya and miss you all.

  7. joel says:

    Hey Danny!

    I got your back with the brits!!!! Frustrated music ministers need a way to get their demons out anyway!!!!


  8. Danny says:

    Carla, glad you’re here. See? The universe didn’t implode just because you read a blog. Stay tuned for that phone number.

    Joel, the Brits are our friends. Without them, we wouldn’t have The Office. Besides that, you know that music guys don’t make a very good posse. Gotta keep your piano hands healthy.

  9. John Hood says:

    Thanks for the link! It’s appreciated. 😉

  1. By Danny Franks | Must…Fight…Slippery…Slope… on March 21, 2017 at 10:08 pm

    […] exactly how long it took from resolution #5 in this post to the announcement I bring you […]

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