How Does a Hospitable Culture Apply to Student Ministry?
We’re in an ongoing series called Hospitable Culture. The big question is this: What if hospitality isn’t something we do, it’s simply who we are? In other words, what if we could bump hospitality beyond the borders of an official team, and work it into every crevice of the church?
Behold the local church youth group: an environment filled with awkward people, still trying to develop conversational skills, desperately figuring out if others like them, and constantly trying out new jokes that no one laughs at.
(And that’s just the adult leaders. The actual students are much worse.)
But I digress. Student Ministry brings with it some of the highest highs and lowest lows that leaders will ever experience in serving others. The teenage years are atrociously hard, and my hat is off to the men and women who fearlessly lead day after day, pointing middle and high schoolers to Jesus.
That’s one of the reasons I was so eager to sit down with William Calhoun, one of our own student leaders and a guy who cares desperately about making the brand new kids feel welcome. I asked William to talk to me about hospitality through the lens of the weekly gathering: that 90 minutes per week where students tend to show up and bring their friends (and to get even more granular, we narrowed it to the students-only gathering that happens apart from Sunday morning).
Here’s what he’s learned – and is learning – about hospitality and teenagers:
1. The beginning matters.
Whether a high schooler is driving themself to church or a middle schooler is being dropped off by their parents, clarity is a kindness. William will soon be doubling their number of signs in order to make sure kids know exactly where to go when they enter the parking lot and approach the building. There will be plenty of leaders in the parking lot and at the entry doors, welcoming students to the evening. And he says says he’s very particular about who is greeting outside: he wants more females than males because of the warmth. Finally, music matters…there are speakers that signal what’s to come inside.
2. Intentionality matters.
The welcome team shouldn’t be a fair-weather team. People outside are even more important when the weather is bad, because it communicates an importance to students and their parents. The diversity of students should be represented in the diversity of leaders. And speaking of diversity, William’s welcome team is made up of a lot of students. His silver bullet to recruitment is asking students the question, “When you first showed up, who would you rather have welcomed you? A balding guy in his 40s or someone who looks like you?” That one question gets a lot of kids to say yes to serving on the team.
3. The first-time guest process matters.
Every week there is a check-in station where returning kids let us know they’re back, and new kids make themselves known for the first time. This station is often hosted by small group leaders who can quickly assess a students needs and connect them to other resources. And at this station, data collection is key. William says that good data on good cards leads to good follow up. The simple but overlooked truth is this: you can’t follow up with kids if you don’t have a way to follow up.
4. Connection matters.
The first-time guest handoff from check-in to the actual teaching environment is huge. No first-time student is ever “left to the void” … void being defined as, “Thanks for being here. Make yourself at home and find a seat.” Nope. A member of the welcome team stays with the kid and connects them to another individual as quickly as possible. That individual is responsible for sticking with the newcomer throughout the evening, making sure they don’t have to interpret the environment on their own.
5. The schedule matters.
I would’ve assumed that hangout time is better suited for the front end of the evening. In other words, walk in, hang out around games or food, and then get into the meat of the evening. But here’s a pretty fascinating reveal from William: by flipping the hangout time until the end, they actually have more students sticking around and less students showing up late. The reason is simple: introverted students hated an immediate hangout time, so they’d wait until worship and small groups to actually show up. But once they’ve made those connections in a smaller environment, hanging out seems like less of a burden.
6. Simple connection matters.
One more fascinating tidbit from William: he said that a weekly QR code has multiplied the impact that leaders can have on students. Each week, a QR code is tossed on the screen at the beginning. Newer kids are directed to questions that help leaders get to know them, pray for them, and find out the questions students have about getting connected, baptism, and salvation. Regular students get a different set of questions that focus on their prayer requests, plus a new question each week that relates to the topic they’re studying or the season they’re in. As a result of the QR code, they’ve received almost 2,700 prayer requests related to breakups, parental divorce, moves, school difficulties, doubts about God, you name it. Over 20 kids have gotten baptized by indicating that desire on the code. Many have gotten connected to serving. It’s a simple concept with a huge win.
Photo credit: Rob Laughter
