Published: 10 years ago

Jon Minus Kate = Not Too L8

As you’ve heard by now, the tabloids’ latest earth-shattering news is the divorce of reality show stars Jon & Kate Gosselin.  I’ve become a fan of their show mainly through my wife, who digs Kate’s hair.  I like Jon’s one liners and think that one kid with the glasses is pretty funny.

I know I’m running a huge risk of turning in a man card because I’m blogging about J & K, but here’s why I chose to do so: they profess to be Christ followers, and yet the last few months have caused many to wonder the depth of their faith.  Let me be clear: I’m not going to get anywhere close to making a judgment call on who is right and who is wrong.  This is reality TV and The National Enquirer, for crying out loud, so we’ve seen what the photographers have wanted us to see.  However, let’s assume that J & K are the committed believers they claim to be, and this latest turn of events is simply a reflection of our fallen world.  If that’s the case, here’s my message:

It’s not too late.

I’ve sat across the table from more divorcing couples than I can count.  Some have hurtled headlong into the choice that they’ve already made.  Many have chosen to die to self, submit to the cross, and find healing in Christ.  In every one of those latter cases, their marriages have turned out stronger than they could have imagined.  I believe that God reserves his greatest miracles for couples who put their future in his hands.  The reason for this is simple enough, and you’ve heard Pastor J.D. say it hundreds of times before: divorce tells a lie about who Christ is.

Ephesians 5 reminds us that marriage is a picture of Christ’s relationship with the church.  Jesus promised to never leave us or forsake us.  There is nothing we can do to escape his love and his pursuit.  He never gets tired of loving us, even when we openly rebel against him.  Every time I officiate a wedding, I refer to Ephesians 5 and remind the couple of the truth that they are illustrating to their family and friends.  So when a couple divorces, they pollute the truth of this passage and illustrate something else: that human commitments can be broken, human vows can be tarnished, and human promises can be dissolved.

And yes, that’s often the result of our fallen world.  But it doesn’t have to be.  Couples can really find hope in the solid ground of the cross.  They can find hope in their circumstances.  They can find hope in the most hopeless of situations, but it takes a mutual submission to the truth of scripture, and often the help of a Christ-centered third party counselor.

During this process of watching Jon & Kate’s marriage crumble, I’ve decided I really like those people.  They’re the kind of folks I think I’d like to have coffee with.  I’d pinch the kid with the glasses on the cheeks.  My wife even tried to convince me to write a letter to Jon and tell him I’d be glad to talk to him if he’d like (I didn’t, because I’m guessing I’d be just one of a thousand such offers, and besides, then a man card really would get pulled).

But truly, I’m praying for them.  I’m praying for their kids.  I’m ignoring all of the rumors and innuendos and paparazzi nonsense.  And I pray that they’ll realize that with the truth of the gospel, it’s never too late.

  1. Suz says:

    I was so sad to see that episode last night. I was hoping they would say they were quitting the show, not getting a divorce. I know things are bad right now, but it is like they didn’t even give it a shot to work things out. I’m praying for the too.

  2. aarontant says:

    A couple of notes:
    1. Thank you for officiating Lisa’s and my wedding. We appreciate what you do and have done for us!
    2. In our vows, we love telling people the part that says, “I will never ever divorce you”. Some people have thought it odd because “normal” vows imply that the couple won’t get divorced. We know that for some, vows are just words, nothing more. We also know that it can be the case for us if we are only looking out for our individual self interests and not trying to lift the other up and seek God together.
    3. We watch J & K + 8… together. It hurt because, as you noted, they kept pointing to their faith in Christ numerous times over and to have this as a result tarnishes the image that God has created for us to understand his love for us.
    4. Personal pet peeve from both adults: as a child of a broken home, this whole “I have to do what is best for the kids” nonsense irks me. I am grateful for the families that were created from my parents splitting, but do I wonder what life would have been like had my parents resolved their differences and reconciled their marraige, yes. What is best for the children is the parents quit being selfish and serve the other person’s needs. This is something I have vowed to do not just because Christ commands of us, but I do it because my parents did not and I do not want to follow that trend.

    I agree with Danny, it is NOT TOO LATE!

    To end on a happy note: I LOVE YOU LISA!!!

  3. Blake says:


    Great post. I am praying for them to. I hope they will come to the cross and find healing. I think you probably should write a letter to Jon. What could it hurt? Just my opinion.

  4. courtney says:

    I think you should write a letter to their church. I mean, I am not saying that their pastor isn’t trying to help them, but I have to wonder what he has done to try to bring them back to Christ being the first thing for them. That is their real problem, not that they are putting their kids above their marriage, but that they are putting their kids above God.

  5. Lauren Dyson says:

    Courtney is right! This is a good example of misplaced priorities. They keep saying they want to do what’s best for the kids, but that’s wrong. First priority is your relationship with God; second priority is your relationship with your spouse. At best, the kids are your third priority. You can’t be doing what’s best for your kids if you don’t have right relationships with God and your spouse.

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