“You’re Not the Audience.”
In leadership, it’s difficult to avoid the “please like me” trap. We want to keep the peace, to make everyone happy, to stay in our lane and keep from rocking the boat.
But leaders have to know who they are creating for. Who they are vision-casting for. And who their audience is.
(And as a demonstration of please like me people-pleasing, give me some charity on the term audience. Sub that with whatever word you want: congregation, community, parishioners, volunteer team, etc.)
Bob Iger knew his audience. In his autobiography The Ride of a Lifetime, detailing his role as the 15 year CEO of The Walt Disney Company, he retells the story of his relationship with Steve Jobs. Jobs was a founder at Pixar, and sold the company to Disney in 2006. Three years later when Disney purchased Marvel, Jobs pulled no punches in expressing his opinion. He once told Iger that he’d never read a comic book in his life, and that “I hate them more than I hate video games.”
Iger goes on:
When Iron Man 2 came out, Steve took his son to see it and called me the next day. “I took Reed to see Iron Man 2 last night,” he said. “It sucked.”
“Well, thank you. It’s done about $75 million in business. It’s going to do a huge number this weekend. I don’t take your criticism lightly, Steve, but it’s a success, and you’re not the audience.”
Imagine saying that to one of the most creative people and successful businessmen in history.
Better yet, imagine saying it to someone you love and respect in your church:
“I don’t see the point in spending money on a gift bag for first-time guests.”
You’re not the audience.
“You’re putting a lot of effort into training people to be friendly. Shouldn’t they know how to do that anyway?”
You’re not the audience.
“You’re constantly asking me to give up my seat and move to another service, so a new person has a place.”
You’re not the audience.
Please hear me: constructive criticism is our friend. Honest questions are helpful. Sincere question-askers are not the enemy. In no way am I advising that you blaze forward without listening to wise counsel, allowing people to poke holes in your plan, and being willing to admit that you may have it wrong.
But there’s a difference in caring for those already inside the walls vs. creating a pathway for those still outside the walls. Don’t confuse the two. And don’t be afraid of doing whatever it takes to reach all people, even if there are some who don’t understand or appreciate or agree with what you’re doing. Use that pushback and feedback as an opportunity to share the vision, to gain a sounding board, to win over an advocate.
But at the end of the day, know that not everybody is the audience.
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