Jen Hatmaker Ruined My Marriage

55 Responses

  1. Kimber says:

    My husband feels your pain. I lurve Jen Hatmaker too, and it makes me all stabby when people tweet about her like their her friends… because how could THEY be when I am…
    However, I haven’t watched her show {live} because my husband retreats to our bedroom {because I ain’t watching that crap} and then makes me feel all guilty for watching it when I should be in bed watching him {snore}. Or something like that. {Marital commitments etc} I pretty much am not allowed to watch any home reno show or really HGTV at all because my husband isn’t totally sure what a phillips screwdriver is and how it relates to our house.
    So yeah. Gotta go. Gotta make an appointment with a Christian marriage counselor now.

  2. Jess H says:

    …And then little Miss Jen tweeted your blog and wives everywhere handed their husbands devices saying “you have to read this Danny Franks post it is SO FUNNY” because it is.

  3. Sarah says:

    I laughed just as hard as I do over Jen’s blog! (Does your wife do that too? Refer to her by first name only, as if actual friends?) Thanks for sharing your side.

  4. Keri says:

    You said you don’t do home renovation but you nailed it Mr. Franks! Thanks for the laugh! LOVED THIS.

  5. Rachel L. says:

    Getting a tattoo of a Jen Hatmaker blog quote translated into Hebrew sounds like…a GREAT IDEA!! Thanks for the suggestion, and the hilarious blog post. I will say that MY husband loves to watch My Big Family Reno with me, and we are both sad to watch the final episodes this week. But we also both know that neither of us will ever attempt any project of that magnitude!

  6. Christine Bi says:

    You nailed this post! It may be as close to a nail gun as you come but hold your head high and marvel at your great work! Made my morning a lot more enjoyable! BRAVO,

  7. Oh my goodness, I laughed so hard at this. I bet there are droves of hubbies everywhere who think the same thing. My beloved loathes when we watch HGTV because it produces the same sort of irrational confidence… “Babe! We can totally install our own countertops. Watch, these ones pop right off…” Cue screws exploding all over the kitchen and my husband promptly looking for the number of our handyman. (My bad, man. My bad.) Jen is indeed hilarious, but so, too, are you, sir.

  8. Wade Oehler says:


  9. Claudia says:

    Giggles to self… He is SO FUNNY!

  10. sheri24601 says:

    I am going to start following you just because of this post!

  11. Karen says:

    Guess as a wife I’m an oddity because I have to say…Jen who?
    Even not knowing this Hatmaker woman, I must say your post is….SO FUNNY!

  12. Megan says:

    Freaking Hilarious. Score.

  13. Rebecca says:

    I just sent this to everyone I know – including my husband who will more than relate. Thanks for this laugh!! Totes adorbs.

  14. Rebecca says:

    PS – Hate to point it out, but saw this because JH retweeted it and thereby directed a ton of traffic to your blog… Crap dang it all, now you owe her too! 😉

  15. Bob says:

    Jen Hatmaker kicked my dog.

  16. Patrick says:


  17. Bonnie says:

    And now Brandon just linked to this post. Dang those Hatmakers!

  18. Katie says:

    Mission accomplished. Merriem now reads your blog and is SO proud of her HILARIOUS husband. (Don’t tell my husband I said you were funny. He’s a little sensitive about that too.)

  19. Joy says:

    Danny, have not fear. It’s wives like us that LOVE Jen but we also know our husbands limitations. Like me, I’m sure your wife LURVES her style but deep down knows if she wants her house to look like that ya’ll will need to call Chip & Joanna Gaines (even if you don’t know who they are, your wife will). P.S. You are pretty funny too!

  20. Well done, Danny. Well done 😉

  21. Katie B says:

    Chris made me read this blog because he said it was HILARIOUS and SO FUNNY….and I had just emailed him plans for an under the bed storage thing that I want him to build. Very good, Danny Franks.

  22. Sarah says:


  23. Dottie says:

    I will have to check out her blog because if she is funnier than you she really really must be funny!! Great read!!

  24. Michelle says:

    Okay I’m not even really a Jen Hatmaker fan and yet, this blog post is seriously one of THE FUNNIEST things I have read in forever (that may be because I don’t read her blog…who knows…just take it for the compliment it is.

    • Michelle says:

      Ahhhh! I forgot to close parentheses! My eyes!!!

      • Robyn Eason says:

        Oh Danny, your wittiness never disappoints. Since I have been married for 36+ years I now have compassion on my Wes and keep my love and enthusiasm and ideas for home improvement to myself until just the right time. I do gladly admit to being a home improvement junkie and I am really enjoying the Hatmakers’ show. Dare I admit that it has made me misty more than once? How can your heartstrings not be tugged when a precious child sees their new room for the first time? And that copper wall in the new kitchen! Come on! My sweet husband has learned through the years to just smile at me and assume that something nearby is freshly painted. I too have all the Hatmaker episodes protected on our DVR and plan to share them with him the next time he is sick and couch bound. Until then I am being patient. In all honesty, I have thought about inviting Merriem over for a special occasion and watching all the episodes together (while we eat Magnum Bars of course). As an older woman who wants to speak truth into your life young man, and as the Word says, “As much as is possible, live at peace with all people,” this is my advice. Watch the show, share Merriem’s enthusiasm and if the feeling is just not there, fake it. It’s the manly thing to do.

  25. Lesley says:

    Just wanted to point out that if there are only 3.5 billion women in the world, she couldn’t possibly influence as many as 9 billion….

    • sarah says:

      The 9 billion of 3.5 billion made me laugh so stinkin’ hard!!! Not you?
      Jen Hatmaker is so influential women who don’t even exist follow her blog.
      I immediately forwarded this to my husband. He knows this kind of pain, though my Jens are Tsh of Art of Simple and Grace of Camp Patton (She is SO funny.)

  26. Amy says:

    Absolutely hilarious. You’ve gained a new follower (actually, by the looks of things, probably quite a few.) And although I LOVE Jen H- I’ve never commented on one of her posts…don’t tell her though:)

  27. Susan says:

    I LOVE Jen too!! My husband feels your pain…making you watch the DVR’d espisodes….love it!!!

  28. Randi says:

    Bkess it!

  29. J'net Webb says:

    This cracked me up! I even read it outloud to my husband as he switched between the Cowboys and A&M! He watches with me but I know better than to get any ideas! You wife should be proud, you are funny too!

  30.! My husband and I sat here laughing hysterically at this post! Just last week I saw Jen on HGTV and wanted to know why WE couldn’t get along as well as she and her husband did while tearing apart a 1918 farmhouse!

    BTW, you’re VERY funny ~ you can show this to your bride as proof 🙂

  31. I just watched the show last week as well. I have to say, you are SERIOUSLY funny. SO much so that I can’t wait to come back and read more. Keep up the great work

  32. Rachel Boling says:

    I love love Jen Hatmaker too! And this was a very funny post. If it makes you feel better…you know at least 90% of the home Reno was done by a crew from hgtv hiding in the background that set into high gear once the cameras clicked off. The project lasted many months with lots and lots and lots of professional and probably volunteer helpers. So never fear your painting or ceiling hanging skills …help is just behind the cameras. Alas reality TV has twists and turns :). I too loved the show and have it all recorded bc I couldn’t stay up until 11pm many a night it was on …I’m such a wimp 🙂

  33. Kristi says:

    Someone forwarded me your post and I have died laughing reading it just now! My husband struggles with air filters and light bulbs, so you are not alone :). Hang in there! Better Jen than some of the other tv show options 🙂

  34. I laughed SO hard. You are a scream. Loved this post.

  35. Kelly says:

    YOU are so funny! Thanks for the laugh.

  36. Teresa says:

    And now, the Nester from Nesting place has linked to your post, which is why I’m here reading your SO FUNNY words.

  37. Amy Flood says:

    Loved this! Very very funny! Thanks!!

  38. Jen says:

    Just stumbled upon this from The Nester’s blog. So funny! Love Jen Hatmaker, and how cool that Brandon left a comment!

  39. Zack says:

    This is great Danny.

    Steph told me about this post and I was all like “sucker! Score one for Zack and not having cable!”

    And then I was standing there at work and I get “card not present transaction” email from my credit card company and see that Steph bought the whole season from Amazon video on demand.

    We watched the whole thing in 2 nights.

    The Hatmakers are still living out of their back porch however many weeks into the renovation and Steph is like, “We could totally do that.” And I’m like “How many of their children are under 6 years old? Because WE HAVE FOUR and the wouldn’t do well with fires and space heaters everywhere.”

    BTW – what’s the link for Summit marriage counseling again?

    (Oh, and I thought you were exaggerating a bit about Jen’s fame – and then I clicked your link over to her blog. Good God. Half a million shares on some of those posts.)

  40. Christy says:

    Hilarious! Was looking for the reference to the wedding in Maine when I ran across this…I do love Jen too 🙂

  41. Brandon and Jen are clearly really down to earth people who can laugh with you just as much. We go to their church, and they really are just regular folks. Gotta love that they are willing to share and post on your blog… I will say you could go do some of those free classes at Home Depot and become an overnight renovation guru yourself…. It will go well with you in the long run. And would make GREAT blog fodder. “What I learned to fix today” …. Always make yourself more attractive to your spouse, I bet she’d find you sexy in a tool belt HA!!

  42. Jane Rattray says:

    I loved this post. I made my daughter and son-in-law buy each episode while I was visiting them so we could have a “farmhouse” marathon. I’m sure my husband was at home snickering that he dodged that bullet. I think your blog is incredibly entertaining and I know what you mean about spouses and blogs.

  43. Meaghan says:

    My husband says ‘Sup. He, too found your blog post SO FUNNY. 🙂

  44. Diane Fredrick says:

    Denny Franks….. you are also SO FUNNY!!

  1. August 29, 2014

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